Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Creative Life


After years of a relative creative drought, I suddenly find myself working on several creations at once.  How can this be?  Why can't my creativity be more evenly dispersed throughout my life, to give me a chance to be consistently productive?  Honestly, it feels almost as if I'm suddenly in a mild manic state (although that particular diagnosis has been officially ruled out, thank you very much!) and I'm just trying to keep up with all the ideas that are suddenly pouring out of me.  Where were these ideas 10 years ago, when I had more energy?

I really did think that I had become a boring slug who was destined to be an Art Appreciator for the remainder of my existence.  And, in most ways, I still am an Appreciator, because nothing I've done has seen the light of day yet.  But, this feeling of finally creating again, even if it's still just in private, is wonderful!  I feel useful and interesting and vibrant again.  It's my second wind.

I've always been curious about the creative processes of artists and how they work.  I remember hearing a writer say that he wrote every day for several hours, often in the nude. He said it took away distractions and obstacles to the creative process.  It seems to me that being naked at a computer would be more of a distraction than wearing clothes could ever be, but maybe it's a gender thing.  

Apparently, Jack Kerouac wrote most of On The Road in 20 days of writing, using multiple pieces of paper that were taped together and fed into the typewriter so that he wouldn't have to stop to change the paper.  His wife fed him pea soup and coffee to keep him going.  It took years, however, to get it published.  

Keith Richards has said that writing "Jumpin' Jack Flash" with Mick Jagger took about 30 minutes.  You could argue that they should have quit after that.  Instead, they've gone on for years, grinding out song after song of mediocrity.  

It took Alexander Calder about a year to create the Cirque Calder after starting the project by doing illustrations of the Ringling Brothers Circus.  He created miniature sculptures of animals, circus performers, and apparatuses from wire, wood, and found materials.  He carried them in suitcases and gave "performances" with narration (in French) while he was living in Paris.  After that, he had years of productivity, resulting in many sculptures, mobiles, drawings, and paintings.

Why are some artists creative throughout their lives, at a fairly even pace, while others have one or two spurts of creativity and long periods of producing very little? 

Sunday, October 28, 2012

My Ideal Bookshelf

I just read a blurb about a new book called My Ideal Bookshelf.  It includes lists of famous people's favorite books with hand-made illustrations of what their bookshelves would look like.  So, naturally, I decided to try to list my favorite books.

I decided to include books that really affected me, along with books that inspired me to drive further down a road than I would have otherwise.  I tried not to pick books in order to impress anyone or with any other agenda.  Also, I can't draw, so there is no illustration.  I considered including a photograph of the books lined up on a bookshelf, but I discovered that I don't currently have a couple of them.  I guess I've moved too many times.  Anyway, here is my briefly annotated list:

  1. The Catcher In The Rye:  A clichĂ©, perhaps, but it had a great impact on me when I was 13.  The thoughts in Holden's head weren't that different from my own and I couldn't help but admire his commitment to his ideals, even as he went over the cliff. It also made me expect more from books than I had expected before.  
  2. After You'd Gone:  Maggie O'Farrell's depiction of the love story and the grief of her protagonist is so real and so intense that I started to feel as if I had lost my fiancĂ©.  
  3. The Looming Tower:  Anyone who doesn't find this book as compelling as a bestselling thriller isn't alive.  This book made me want to learn more about the Middle East and led me to read more history of that part of the world.
  4. The Last Mughal:  I was never really interested in India before I read this book.  I picked it up because I find details (human stories, political intrigues, economic impacts, etc.) of cultural collisions fascinating.  This history of the last days of the last Mughal in India made me want to pursue it further.  It led me to read more about India and to read more by the author, William Dalrymple.  (see #5)
  5. White Mughals:  This is one of the most moving pieces of history I have ever read.  At its heart, it is a love story; but it is also the history of the actions and consequences of the East India Company.  Chronologically, the events detailed in this book took place before the events in The Last Mughal.  However, I listed them in the order in which I read them, because after I finished The Last Mughal I wanted more.
  6. When Will There Be Good News?:  Kate Atkinson can write so well, it's breathtaking.  I think I've read all of her novels, and I've loved them all.  But, if I have to pick one, this one stands out for me.  
  7. Savage Inequalities:  Public schools are my life.  So, it's not surprising that I have read a lot of books about them.  I can always count on Jonathan Kozol's books to remind me why I care so much about public education.
  8. Amerika:  I discovered Kafka my freshman year of college, not because of any classes I was taking, but because I liked the cover of The Trial.  After I finished reading it, it stayed with me for days.  So, I went to the bookstore and bought The Castle and Amerika.  I finished Amerika in one day, on a Sunday that I spent in my room.  It actually made me laugh out loud at one point, which you might not expect from Kafka.  I loved it so much that I called my boyfriend to read parts of it to him.  Because he found it as funny as I did, I made him my husband.
  9. Claudia:  I recognize that this is a children's book, but it's one of those books that I still re-read.  I love how independent Claudia is and how loyal she and Duffy are to each other.  I love that she has a secret diner that she visits once a week, and that she has a box that she locks her treasures in.  But what I love most about it is her relationship with her older brother.  I never had a brother, but Claudia's relationship with her brother always struck me as wonderful.
  10. Young Men & Fire:  This is the horrific true story of the Mann Gulch fire of 1949 and the deaths of 13 Smokejumpers.  It's told with real feeling and loving dedication to details and truth.
  11. The House of Mirth:  My husband recommended this book to me, and I was grateful that he did, even though it was the first time I ever cried while reading a book.  This was particularly embarrassing, because I finished it while on a flight from San Antonio to Chicago.  When I reached the description of Lily's death, I couldn't stop the tears.  You know how your throat hurts when you try really hard not to cry?  My throat hurt that way, and I still got the pages wet.
  12. A Case of Curiosities:  My sister gave me this book.  She has given me several books that I have enjoyed, but this is the one she gave me that I enjoyed the most.  It reminds me of my mother's memory box, which her sister gave to her.  I also love this book because it is, in the end, a mystery.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Saving Songs from Themselves

There are some songs that I hear and think, "This is a really good song.  Why don't I love it?"  In nearly every case, I can eventually identify something (or some things) that, if done differently, would have pushed my opinion of it over the top.  Sometimes, it's the use of a particular instrument, other times it's the singer's voice or the production.  It's made me wish for a collection of cover versions by people who feel the same way I do.

Here are some of the songs that need to be saved from themselves:
  1. "Still The One," by Orleans.  This is a good pop song that manages to make me feel good, in spite of the awful singer and the excessive backing harmonies.  If someone with a better voice would cover the song with the same basic arrangement (minus harmonies), I'd be a very happy camper.
  2. "Best of You," by Foo Fighters.  Prince's version, during the Super Bowl halftime show, was the best.  I want a recording of that.
  3. "Free Ride," by Edgar Winter.  If someone would record it in exactly the same way, but without the dorky synthesizer break in the middle, it would be awesome.
  4. "Philadelphia Freedom," by Elton John.  The song is great, the arrangement is fabulous, the production is perfect.  But, Elton John has got to go.  His singing is so affected, he adds so many syllables to the words, that you can barely understand the lyrics.  Someone who can just sing, without going to such great lengths to sound soulful, could push this song into heaven.
I'm sure there are more, but that's all that comes to mind.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The REAL Lesson From Columbine

I heard a story on the radio that made me sad and angry at the same time.  It was an interview with a man, named Sam Granillo, who was a junior at Colombine High School on April 20, 1999.  He was in the cafeteria when Harris and Klebold started their rampage and he hid, along with many other students, in an inner office of the kitchen.  He lost a close friend that day and he was offered free counseling, which he tried.  As adolescents are wont to do, he felt that it wasn't working for him; but he remembers being told that, for the rest of his life, free counseling would be available to him.  This was in recognition of the fact that there are sometimes emotional scars that don't show up immediately after a traumatic event.


Unfortunately, Sam discovered that the services were not available to him when he wanted to return to counseling several years after the event.  He was struggling with some symptoms that are fairly typical of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  In his interactions with other survivors of Colombine, he found that counseling stopped being free for them about 2 years after April 20, 1999.  He also found that many of them had been told the counseling would be available for the rest of their lives.  

Thankfully, Sam works as a freelance camera assistant and production assistant, and he decided to put those skills to use in order to bring attention to the mental health needs of survivors of trauma.  Sam has been making a documentary about survivors of mass shootings, such as Colombine and Virginia Tech.  He calls it Columbine: Wounded Minds and he hopes it will lead to a foundation for free services for people who have been through major traumatic events, such as mass shootings or war.  It breaks my heart that he and the other survivors haven't had free counseling services available to them.  I don't understand why we don't take better care of each other.  I really don't.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Power to the People

I've been reading Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. Given the current political climate, I've found the chapter called "Robber Barons and Rebels" particularly compelling.  Zinn describes the events of the second half of the 19th century, including the economic crises and the multitude of strikes and demonstrations by the nascent American labor movement. I find it very disturbing how many parallels there are between then and now, particularly the tight relationship between the extremely wealthy and government. I am not a fan of conspiracy theories and I try very hard not to be paranoid (which has not always been easy, trust me), but when I read about some of the Supreme Court's decisions from the 19th century, decisions that resulted in reversing or eliminating regulations on corporations, I feel that we have gone back in time. How is this different from our current Supreme Court? Maybe we're stuck in a perpetual tug of war between the very wealthy and the rest of us for control over the country. Can you say that we've made any progress at all when it was the Supreme Court of the late 19th century that decided that corporations were individuals, a decision reinforced by our current Court in recent rulings?

Whatever it is, it certainly isn't new and I'm not sure we've learned anything over the past 236 years. Honestly, I used to be a very positive person. I was optimistic and believed in the power of evidence to carry the day. But I just can't seem to sustain it anymore. There are so many people who refuse to be persuaded by facts and, I must admit, it makes me want to break things sometimes. I suppose I could blame FOX News, but isn't the real problem that there is an audience for FOX News? There will always be liars, but why are there so many people who want to believe these particular lies? And when I look at individuals I know who watch and believe FOX News, I'm deeply bothered. If they were all business owners, I would say that their primary priorities were de-regulation of industries and eliminating workers' rights. However, the people I'm thinking of are not all business owners. They work in a variety of jobs and they are not wealthy. But they don't seem able to see that the policies that are recommended by FOX News and the Republican Party are designed to benefit the wealthy and to harm the middle and lower classes, their own people. Would someone please explain this to me?

As someone who has worked her entire adult life in public education, I can't help but feel that this is the true failure of our schools -- our failure to instill in students a healthy respect for evidence and logic. I blame it on religion. 




  

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Creativity and Schools

I recently attended a workshop on creativity. It was specifically designed for people who work in schools and the idea behind it was that teachers needed to be creative in order to provide instruction that is differentiated based on students' needs. There were also many elements included in the workshop that teachers could use to help their students develop their creativity. The nice thing about this workshop is that I didn't sit there thinking I was wasting my time and I didn't want to call out, "Bullshit!" at any point. This was a truly rare experience.


The longer I work in education, the more I want, and need, to yell, "Bullshit!" I am particularly inclined to feel this need when I think about what schools could do to help children discover their creativity versus what they actually are doing these days. The worst part of it is that the legislation under which we work (NCLB) and the more recent grant requirements (RttT) make it clear that the thing our governments (federal and state) want us to focus on the most is students' test scores.


Creativity is at the heart of things like innovation, art, entrepreneurship, research and development, and solving problems. Creativity is also difficult to quantify. Herein lies the irony of our current educational policies and "reform" efforts: we want better education for all students because we will need them to be entrepreneurs and inventors ("job creators" in election-season-speak) when they are adults; we want to measure this better education through test scores, like the PISA, in which we compare our students to students in other countries, with the goal that our students score at the top. I'm sorry to have to tell you all this, but you can't have both.


Yong Zhao recently wrote an article for Education Week in which he gives a very clear explanation of this problem and even provides data(!) which show that countries in which students perform very well on the PISA are usually those with the lowest levels of entrepreneurship. But we've known this for a while. Why haven't we stopped the big push for higher test scores?


Well, I think there are several reasons. First, I think many actual entrepreneurs have made quite a bit of money from our obsession with testing and from our politicians' insistence that our schools are terrible. The cynical side of me sees this as the real intention of the politicians who have made the most hay of our so-called failure. People like Joel Klein and  Michelle Rhee have made a lot of money. They are very friendly with some politicians who are quite vocal in their disapproval of our public schools and of teachers' unions. This brings me to the second reason we're still being pushed by test scores: to crush teachers' unions. Republicans (primarily, though not exclusively) have found that they have been very successful in discrediting teachers' unions when they have focused relentlessly on standardized test scores.  


I also think that there is a general insecurity that permeates the teaching profession which prevents teachers from arguing, publicly, with leaders of all kinds. And, there hasn't really been a venue for them because they have been completely excluded from the conversation. But why do they accept this exclusion? Why aren't they organizing national strikes and demonstrations to force their leaders to listen to what they have to say? I'm not sure why the unions and those politicians who can see the bigger educational picture haven't been more insistent on refocusing the conversation about public schools away from test scores. But, teachers -- why have you bought into this mindset? If we must think of our students as future employees (which I think is the wrong way to think about them), we should remember this: when we ask business leaders what qualities they look for in employees, they never say, "high scores on the PISA." They identify things like problem-solving ability, collaborative skills, creativity, ambition. We used to be good at turning out graduates from our public schools who had those traits. If we keep down this idiotic path, I'm afraid we'll end up with a bunch of job candidates who are looking for employers who phrase everything as a multiple-choice question.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Greatest

Several months ago, I got Rhett Miller's The Interpreter: Live at Largo.  It's an album of him covering a bunch of songs that probably are particular favorites of his.  The recording is live, so you get a bit of concert banter introducing some of the songs.  I have no idea what Largo is/was, but based on the banter, it sounds like this sort of performance was typical: established musicians performing covers.


What I find interesting about it, apart from Rhett's gorgeous, lovely voice, is the songs that he chose.  I had no idea, until I listened to it, that he's a Bowie fan.  (Recently, he wrote a piece in Salon in which he explains to his children why Bowie's Hunky Dory is a great album: Trust me on this: David Bowie's "Hunky Dory")  The Bowie song he covers is "The Bewlay Brothers" and, having never heard it before, I assumed it was a Dan Bejar song.  Rhett also performs songs written by Tom Petty, Elliott Smith, Elvis Costello, The Pixies, The Ramones, Roddy Frame, The Beatles, Dylan, and Robyn Hitchcock.  


I will forever be grateful to Rhett Miller for this album because it introduced me to the song "California Stars."  This is a song that was on Mermaid Avenue, a collaboration (of sorts) among Wilco, Billy Bragg, and Woody Guthrie.  Apparently, Guthrie left behind many lyrics without music and Wilco and Bragg put them to music.  "California Stars" is simply beautiful and, even though I am a mild fan of Wilco and I loved Billy Bragg's Talking With the Taxman About Poetry, I probably wouldn't ever have heard it if it weren't for Rhett Miller.  Thank you, Rhett!  


I was surprised to hear him say, in his intro to "Waterloo Sunset," that it was "the greatest song ever written by a human being."  It is a great song, but I wouldn't call it the greatest song ever written.


This got me wondering what song I would call the greatest song.  This is really such an impossible and pointless exercise that I must try it.  Here is a list of contenders, in no particular order:



  • "Every Line of a Long Moment"
  • "God Only Knows"
  • "Caribbean Wind"
  • "Thunder Road"  (I do love a big gesture.)
  • "The Whole of the Moon" 
  • "Care of Cell 44"
  • "A Fond Farewell"
  • "Wild Horses"  (I prefer the version by The Flying Burrito Brothers.)
  • "Walk Away Renee"
  • "The Bleeding Heart Show"
  • "Freeze the Saints"
  • "Thousands Are Sailing"

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

More about pens and ink

I attended a pen show in Apex, NC earlier this month.  It was a bit of a letdown because I had built it up so much in my mind.  I have a tendency to do this.  When I'm enthusiastic about something (and, especially when there isn't much that I'm enthusiastic about at the time, like now), I tend to obsess about it and put so much weight on it that it can never live up to my expectations.  It might sound strange to feel that way about a pen show, but live and let live, already!


One of the reasons that I was a bit disappointed was because there wasn't much there for someone who knows little about antique pens.  Most of the displays/vendors were antique pen collectors/dealers and, although I have always found antique pen collectors to be more than willing to explain things to me, I was hoping for a few more opportunities to see new pens.  I particularly wanted to see the new Parker Ingenuity line, which uses "Parker 5th technology."  They're not fountain pens.  They're not ballpoints.  They're not roller ball pens.  I'm intrigued.


Anyway, I did find a few things that I am enjoying using these days.  I bought a pen from a company called TWSBI.  




I hadn't heard of them before, but the pen writes very nicely and looks great.  It has a broad nib, which may become my new favorite nib size.  I have always gone with the fine or extra-fine nib on my fountain pens, but I'm really enjoying the way this broad nib writes.  I also got several new inks, which is always delightful.  The J. Herbin 1670 Anniversary ink is a beautiful shade of red.  




I also now have a bottle of J. Herbin ink in Rose Cyclamen, which is a lovely shade of pinky-purple.  It's the ink I am currently using most.  


One of the more interesting shades I have is Pelikan's Edelstein ink in Jade.  




I've never had a bottled green ink before, although I've had many items in the shade of bottle green.  This, however, is not bottle green.  It's a lighter green with some gray or ashy tones to it.  It's kind of liberating.  It's a nice color and I'm impressed by the quality of colors in the Edelstein line.  


Perhaps the best part of the whole pen show weekend, though, was discovering Office Supplies & More in Chapel Hill.  What a treasure this place is!  So many pens!!!  So many notebooks!!!  It is exactly the kind of store I could spend a lot of time and money in.  Why aren't there more of them?  

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Hope Made a Fool of Me

Yesterday, I despaired for the future my country.  Although it was what I had expected, I was very sad that Scott Walker won his recall fight and will be the Governor of Wisconsin for the remainder of his term.  People voted for him in spite of his questionable (to put it mildly) testimony to Congress and in spite of (perhaps because of?) his vicious attacks on the rights of public employees.  I despaired for the future of all of us who are not among the very wealthy, all of us who need our jobs not just for the pay, but also for the health insurance.  And I was amazed at the utter lack of imagination among so many of the voters of Wisconsin.


"Why a lack of imagination?" you may ask.  Because it shows a serious lack of imagination to vote to keep someone who, as soon as he had the power, immediately stripped away the rights that had been won through hard experience, the rights that were, in fact, protecting the rights of ALL of Wisconsin's workers, regardless of whether they belonged to unions.  Do the people who voted for Walker really believe that their jobs are safe as long as he is in office?  Do they really think that he won't want to take away other workers' rights?  Do they actually believe that their lives will be better now?


The truth is that workers with rights are what keep our economy going.  Walker talks a lot about how good for Wisconsin's economy his policies are, but where will Wisconsin's economy be in, say, 5 years?  Our national economy relies on consumers, primarily middle-class consumers, with disposable income.  How many of those consumers will be left after a few more years of Scott Walker?  Now that public employees can no longer bargain collectively and he's made it so hard for their unions to work for them, we're going to see their pay and benefits dropping, which will mean they will have significantly less disposable income.  There will be, to quote a famous Republican, a "trickle-down effect" throughout the economy of Wisconsin.  Stores will close.  Companies will downsize.  The few manufacturers who remain will relocate their businesses.  People will lose jobs.


Yesterday, I imagined similar scenarios playing out in other states over the next few years, with similar outcomes.  I saw short-sighted voters all over the country electing people who would take away collective bargaining rights, would cut funding to schools, would cut the few remaining public programs that help those in need, and would increase tax breaks for corporations and wealthy individuals.  The social-class divisions that exist today are nothing compared to what we could be living in just a few years from now.  


And why would people vote for the politicians who would enact such harmful policies?  I suspect that much of it boils down to the attitude of, "If I don't have a union representing me, why should you?  If I don't have good health insurance, why should you?  If the people in my profession can't bargain collectively, why should anyone else have that right?"  But maybe that's just cynicism on my part.  I confess that I am feeling exceptionally cynical right now.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Certainty In Spite of Facts

I find it amazing, although I probably shouldn't, that so many people are absolutely convinced of things in spite of evidence to the contrary.  Let me give you an example -- people all over the US have expressed the belief that our public schools are failing and are in crisis.  They say that the evidence in support of this belief is that students in the US do not score at the top of the heap on international tests.  They continue to say that our country is in danger because our students aren't number one in the world on these tests and they say that our students are performing worse now than in the past.


They continue to believe this even though the data from the National Center for Education Statistics show that our scores on international tests have never been at the top, and in spite of the fact that our scores have improved each time our students have been tested.  Let me state that again: our scores get better each time our students are tested.  Our students are performing better on international tests now than they have ever performed.


Here's another statistic: the number of Americans with some college education has increased from 10% in 1940 to 56% today.  Again, we aren't number one in the world in terms of college degrees obtained.  But this hasn't hurt our GDP.  It is still well above China and Japan, the next closest countries.  


So, I'm appalled that so many people still argue that our schools are failing and that these failing schools will hurt our economy and make us less competitive.  Where is the data?


I'm particularly struck by this when I think about the assumptions of people like Columbus when they set off to explore.  Columbus and his backers were certain they would find lots of gold when they landed.  Some European explorers were so certain they would find gold that they forced the natives to work in mines that failed, over and over again.  And what about the US invasion of Iraq, which American leaders said was necessary because the Iraqi government had weapons of mass destruction and American lives were at risk?  Where was the evidence of that?  Plenty of people at the time expressed doubts, but more people wanted to listen to those saying we had to invade.  Tragic.


I guess it's not news that people can be misled, quite easily, when someone speaks with authority.  It's depressing, though, that humans haven't learned to demand evidence.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

More Sonic Thrills

I spent a wonderful afternoon last Sunday, sitting on my porch in my new rocking chair, reading and listening to the birds.  It was so quiet on my street and the weather was perfect -- not too hot and not too cold, with a light breeze.  I really love hearing birds singing.  It's another of my sonic thrills.


Sounds are a very important part of my life.  It's not surprising, then, that I have become a huge fan of audiobooks in the past ten years.  I like listening to books because I can do other things while I listen to them (multitasking is my whole life, it seems) and because I get to hear good books while relaxing.  However, not just any audiobook will do.  I find that I can really only listen to fiction.  I prefer to read nonfiction.  I also find that certain narrators are absolutely unlistenable to me.  I have some very specific preferences.

  • In general, I prefer women narrators.  However, their voices cannot be too high and I really prefer that they not have upper-class English accents.  Unless, of course, we're talking about Rosamund Pike. 
  • Regarding male narrators, I prefer voices that show some energy.  I can't stand Dick Hill as a narrator.  Does it get any more stagnant than his narration?  Not possible.  Oh, and who calls himself "Dick"?????
  • If I'm listening to a novel that takes place in Scotland or Ireland or England, the narrator's accent should be Scottish or Irish or English.  Why does Samuel Gillies or Joe Dunlop or Michael Page narrate books by Ian Rankin, which take place in Scotland?  I prefer James MacPherson when I'm listening to Rankin.  And I'm so grateful for Gerard Doyle, who narrates Adrian McKinty's books, which take place in Northern Ireland.  I feel like I'm there when I listen to him.


There are certain words that I love strictly because of how they sound.  These are usually words that start with an 'm' or a 'p'.  If both of those letters are in the word, it's probably one of my favorite words.  For example, I like the words:

  • pimento
  • pipit
  • pippin (to be fair, I also like this word because of Scottie Pippen)
  • mercurial
  • madcap
  • maharaja
  • mineral
  • memento mori
  • prism
Also, my favorite town name is Mineral Point.  It's a town in Wisconsin.  I visited it once and didn't find it particularly charming, but I love the way it sounds.  Mineral Point.  It's a beautiful name.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

In defense of print and ink

I am an advocate against going paperless.  Not that I don't love technology; on the contrary, I am a gadget fiend.  But I also love actual paper, print, and writing by hand.  I have used iBooks for some reading, but I still prefer holding an actual book in my hands, turning the pages, flipping around, and reading in bed without worrying about breaking a device.  I also like magazines.  Again, it's about holding the magazine in my hands, flipping pages, and not worrying about breaking anything.  


Perhaps one of the things I love most about books and magazines is browsing in a book store.  Sadly, there aren't any bookstores that are less than an hour's drive from my house, but I'm willing to put in the driving time.  Even more sadly, driving an hour only gets me to a Barnes & Noble.  To get to a really good bookstore, it's a much further drive.  I can, however, get to a pretty good pen store in about an hour.


I collect fountain pens.  This may seem pretentious, but allow me to explain.  I've always loved writing, both the physical act of writing and the intellectual pursuit of writing.  The things I've loved about the physical act of writing have been finding new and interesting writing instruments and using them on different kinds of paper.  My father mostly used fountain pens when I was a child.  He thought he was state-of-the-art because he used cartridges.  I never really thought about fountain pens, myself, until one day when I was in a drug store when I was about 19 years old.  I came across the Varsity, a disposable fountain pen by Pilot.  I bought it and loved it.  I loved the way the ink flowed out of the pen and how the nib looked as I wrote.  


Unfortunately, at that time I couldn't afford any high-quality fountain pens.  And, since I was going into teaching, it was many more years before I could afford to buy one of my own.  Eventually, though, I got a Waterman Hemisphere and a Parker Sonnet.  These were my first 2 real (non-disposable) fountain pens.  I went on to buy many more and I now have a nice little collection.  My current favorite is my Pelikan Souveran 215, although I still use my Hemisphere very regularly.  I don't have any antique fountain pens, which is what the "real" collectors love, but I'm quite happy with my pens.


Of course, as soon as I got my own fountain pens, I had to look into inks.  This is where things got really interesting.  I started by getting a bottle of ink from Levenger, Cobalt Blue.  Then, of course, I had to get some cartridges, since most of my pens take cartridges as well as bottled ink.  When surfing the internet, I came across Private Reserve Ink, which has a great selection of ink colors.  My favorite of theirs is DC Supershow Blue.  But my favorite ink company is, without question, Noodler's Ink.


Noodler's has a fantastic selection of colors, and it also has some truly inspired names for them.  Currently, I have Dragon Napalm (a bright orangey red, kind of like mercurochrome), Baystate Blue, Navajo Turquoise, Concord Bream (a pale, grayish lilac), and Polar Blue.  Next, I plan to get Nikita (a bright red), Eel Cactus (magenta), and Bad Blue Heron.  

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sweet Home, Chicago

Last week, I visited family and friends in the greater Chicago area. Already, I am imagining that I can hear those who live in the actual city of Chicago groaning. People who live in Chicago proper sometimes have attitude about those who live in the suburbs. OK, so I was raised in the suburbs. What's the big deal? Anyway, while there, I ventured into Chicago, itself, in order to visit the Art Institute. I have several favorites there, such as Beata Beatrix by Rossetti, and The Old Guitarist by Picasso. But my favorite gallery within the Art Institute has always been the Paperweight Gallery. You can imagine my disappointment, then, when I entered the gallery only to find that many of the paperweights were not on display. Later, I learned that the Art Institute was considering getting rid of them.


[Insert melodramatic scream of "Nooooooooooooo!" while on knees and shaking fists at sky.]


The collection of paperweights at the Art Institute is one of the best in the world. When I lived in the Midwest, I was fortunate to be near two of the best paperweight collections -- the collection at the Art Institute of Chicago and the Bergstrom-Mahler Museum in Neenah, Wisconsin. I can't explain what I find so beautiful about glass paperweights, except to say that I've always liked very small things. Within the beautiful millefiori antique paperweights are very small "canes" and there are often letters or dates to be found on them. I could spend hours looking at collections of antique paperweights because there is so much to see within these little worlds. This is what attracted me to Hello Kitty and Little Twin Stars when I was 10 years old. Everything was so tiny! Of course, now the Sanrio company makes normally-sized things with Hello Kitty on them, too many things, in fact. And, it's very hard to find anything with Little Twin Stars. But, I digress.


Oddly, I do not enjoy the Thorne Miniature Rooms Gallery, which is quite near the Paperweight Gallery. I find the miniature rooms to be stifling. I really don't enjoy entire rooms of antique decor, whether miniature or full sized. I like individual pieces of antique furnishings, but not entire rooms. So, a gallery of 68 miniature rooms of antique decor overwhelms me. 


The depleted paperweight display was not my only disappointment on my visit to Chicago. I also saw one of the most hideous things I've ever seen. On Michigan Avenue, there is a monstrously large, full-color statue of Marilyn Monroe, Forever Marilyn by Seward Johnson. It's been there for almost a year and it's the ugliest piece of public art in the world. OK, that might be an overstatement, but come on! I'm a big fan of public art and I also love pop culture, but this statue is just an eyesore. 


Throughout Chicago, you can find public art by Picasso, Oldenburg, Chagall, Miro, Dubuffet, and Calder, among many others. The architecture in Chicago is also breathtaking, with buildings designed by Henry Hobson Richardson, Louis Sullivan, Frank Lloyd Wright, and Mies van der Rohe, among many others. In this setting, the statue of Marilyn Monroe is just an insult. I'm just grateful that it isn't going to be a permanent installation. It's supposed to leave sometime soon.

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Plan

When I think about how I spend my time, I get a little discouraged. I work at least 45 hours a week, which leaves 123 hours. I sleep about 56 hours a week, if I get a full 8 hours a night, which leaves 67 hours. I spend about 10.5 hours "getting ready" each morning, which includes showering, drying my hair, getting dressed, putting on makeup, eating breakfast, taking care of the dogs, etc. This takes it down to 56.5 hours of free time. Due to my geographic location, I usually drive about 3 hours (round-trip) on Saturdays to shop, see a movie, eat out, get a pedicure, etc. This leaves 53.5 hours.  


So what am I getting done during those 53.5 hours each week? Not much. I read, watch TV, listen to music, talk to my husband and kids, surf the internet, and that's about it. I always have lots of ideas of things I could do, like gardening, writing, finishing my Ph. D, or learning how to make pottery. But I never seem to follow through on these things. Although, I must say that I had started a novel that I think was going to be pretty good. Unfortunately, my daughter deleted it by mistake from my iPad. I made a couple of attempts to re-create it, but they were unsuccessful. Since then, though, I've had another great idea for a novel and I made a minor start on it, but I haven't worked on it in quite a while. Really, I'm all potential. No actual accomplishments.


Is that what will be on my headstone after I die? "Here she lies. She was all potential, no actual accomplishments." No! I refuse to let that be the case. So I have developed a plan to transfer some of my ideas into actions. There's some irony here, because I hate it when my husband comes up with schedules/budgets/lists/plans for us/me to follow. Although I am definitely a creature of habit, I don't like thinking that I am on a schedule or a routine during my free time. Basically, I don't like being told what to do, even by myself. However, I'm going to give this a try and see how it turns out.


My plan is this: I will act on one of my ideas for at least 10.5 hours each week for a month. I figure I should spend at least as much time accomplishing something as I spend on "getting ready" each week. I will start this week, even though it's already 2:30 PM on Monday, March 26th, because if I leave it until next week or until April, I will be much less likely to begin. I'm lazy, but I'm self aware. 


So, wish me luck on my self-improvement plan. By April 26th, I should have made some progress on one thing on my list of ideas. Any and all encouragement is welcome.

Monday, March 19, 2012

2 Kinds of People

Sometimes, it seems this simple.


There are 2 kinds of people: 
  • those who carry hand sanitizer around with them and those who don't.
  • those who specialize and those who don't.
  • those who let their children grow up and those who don't.
  • those who say, "Gesundheit!" and those who don't.
  • those who dance in public and those who don't.
    At other times, it's more nuanced.

    Monday, February 27, 2012

    Art For Art's Sake

    What is it about the U.K. that allows so much good music to be created? Seriously, there has been more good music from that geographic/cultural part of the world than from anywhere else. Why is this?


    A couple of years ago, I read that people in the U.K. buy more music per capita than in any other country in the world. It might not continue to be the case, what with Spotify so readily available, but it certainly says something about how they like to spend their time and money.  I can't imagine the U.S. ever being number one in music purchases. 


    Which leads me to my next question: why aren't the arts more valued in the U.S.? I guess it would help if we had consistent arts education in our public schools. But, that lack of arts education is just another symptom of our society's lack of appreciation of the arts. Is this another unfortunate legacy of our Puritan beginnings? We don't visit museums, we don't demand arts education for our children, and we don't look for beauty, in general. The older I get, the more I want to be surrounded by beauty, so I'm noticing that there's a serious lack of beauty in most of my day-to-day experiences.


    This really saddens me. I've raised 2 children in the U.S. and they've attended regular public schools. I can honestly say that they did not get much in the way of arts education, which doesn't bode well for the future of beauty in America. I have a rather sentimental attitude toward the U.S. and I love the ideals that the U.S. has traditionally represented: freedom, democracy, individualism. This is not to say that we have ever completely lived up to these ideals. We fall short again and again. But this country was founded with a purpose and I, mostly, like that purpose.


    Sadly, I don't always agree with other people's interpretations of that purpose. I don't see that capitalism and public funding of the arts can't co-exist. I don't think that freedom and well-funded public schools are opposites. I don't believe that a social safety net turns us into a socialist society.


    So, I'm impressed by countries that value beauty and aren't afraid to put some money behind it. I've never really been an Anglophile. If anything, I've been quick to point out how superior America is to the U.K. But their love of music is something I think they got right. 


    Here is some music I'm listening to lately by non-Americans:

    • "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung
    • "Seen the Light" and "Pumping On Your Stereo" by Supergrass
    • "In the Morning" by The Coral
    • "Time and Space" by The Accidental
    • "Hoppipolla" by Sigur Ros
    • "Ageless Beauty" by Stars
    • "Can't Stand Me Now" by The Libertines






    Saturday, February 4, 2012

    A Fish Out Of Water

    A few years ago, I moved from Wisconsin to North Carolina, where I had accepted a job. This was a major undertaking, but I was happy to do it because I find North Carolina to be a beautiful place and the town I moved to was on the eastern coast. I can see the bay from my front porch, actually. I can drive to the outer banks in about an hour. There are downsides to the location, too. Nearly every weekend, I drive 180 minutes (roundtrip) just to eat lunch, shop, and maybe get a pedicure or see a movie. It's not that these things aren't available where I live; it's just that there are far fewer choices and the standard is lower.

    Culture shock is a funny thing. Before I moved, people in Wisconsin kept telling me that I was in for a shock, but I didn't really think so. After all, I've traveled a bit and I spent a semester abroad when I was in college. What could be so different about North Carolina? It's still in the U. S., after all. I realized, fairly quickly, that I had underestimated the differences.

    I experienced culture shock on a couple of levels. First, I honestly struggled, at times, to understand what people were saying.  The accent threw me, particularly when the speaker was talking quickly. Second, the differences between the Midwest and the South are many and varied. People in the Midwest are often serious, but casual. What I mean is, Midwesterners have a reputation for being hard workers who often are to the point in their communication. However, it's also very common for employees to call their supervisors by their first names. Jeans are a common sight in the workplace. Not in every workplace, obviously. You won't find people in jeans in the governor's office, for example. But it's not considered unprofessional to wear jeans in a lot of businesses and places of employment. 

    In the South, however, employees often wait to be told by their supervisors to call them by their first names and, even then, many of them prefer not to. Children are generally raised to use "sir" and "ma'am" with adults and many employees also use these terms with their supervisors. That's right - adults call other adults "sir" and "ma'am." And don't even try to wear jeans to work. Granted, I live in a small town in the South, but I had been living in a small town in Wisconsin, too. 

    The next level of culture shock, and what I really wasn't prepared for, was how public a role religion plays down here. Let me rephrase that: how public a role certain sects of Christianity play down here. I had entered the Bible Belt. One of the first questions I was asked by my secretary when I started working here was, "What religion are you?" I was dumbfounded. I had never been asked that question at work before. I struggled to even answer because I was so shocked that I'd been asked. This was only the first in a long series of uncomfortable encounters I would have with ostentatious displays of Christianity over the next few years. 


    At this point, I need to tell you that my job was that of a high-school principal. I tell you this because the rules of what people are allowed to say, wear, or display in public schools are different than in businesses or other places of work. At least, that's what I was taught. In my course in public school law, the professor made it clear that public school teachers shouldn't even have visible religious jewelry. The courts have consistently seen public school teachers as in unique positions with regard to the right to free speech. They are seen as having great influence over their students. Because of the separation of church and state, the courts expect that teachers will refrain from talking about or displaying their own religious beliefs. This is something that I have always expected and agreed with throughout my career. In my opinion and in my experience, religion is to be taught at home.


    In the South, however, it's a different story. Teachers regularly wear jewelry with crosses and display religious items in their classrooms. During my first week on the job, I attended  a meeting where lunch was served. Before we ate, the Superintendent had one of the people at the meeting lead us in prayer. At the start of every School Board meeting, one of the Board members leads a prayer. The particularly painful part of these prayers for me is that they frequently include a reference to "Jesus Christ." These are not non-denominational prayers. And it's not unusual for local government meetings to being with prayer, either. 


    The clear difference, for me, is that these things are coming from the adults, not from the students. There is also the issue of compelling someone who is at a meeting to take part in a prayer. Students are free to display their religions and if a student wants to pray before he eats his lunch, he is free to do so. However, would it be appropriate for a student to stand in the cafeteria and ask all the other students to be quiet and not to start eating until he had led them in a prayer? Of course not. Public schools are not supposed to allow anyone to impose religious beliefs or practices on the students. So why would it be OK to impose religious beliefs and practices on someone attending a public government meeting?


    This all makes me very uncomfortable. I believe that certain things are private, personal, and not for public discussion or display. Religion is one of those things. If I'm at a party with my friends or family and we talk about religion, that's one thing. But it's very different to talk about it at work or to expect people who are at work to pray with you. The weird thing is that we make a big thing out of religious freedom and the separation of church and state in this country. Yet, there are countries in Europe where there is a state church where you don't find such ostentatious displays of religion. Maybe it happens here precisely because we don't have a state church.

    Wednesday, January 25, 2012

    Sonic Thrills

    I have aways been affected by sounds.  There are some people's voices that affect me physically, giving me goosebumps or earaches.  There have been many public radio programs that I have listened to, not because I found the content interesting, but because the speaker's voice was so physically pleasurable to me.  There are also people whose voices are so irritating to me that I can't stand to hear them talk. 

    Music has always played a very big role in my life because my parents were huge music fans.  They had a record collection that filled a fairly large closet.  My mom once told me that, during the first years of their marriage, they would each buy a record a week.  My mom preferred Frank Sinatra, Burt Bacharach, Herb Alpert, and movie musicals.  My dad liked jazz - Dave Brubeck, Thelonius Monk, Lena Horne, Ella Fitzgerald.  They also had a good selection of classical music, although no opera.  My sisters and I all took music lessons on various instruments and we played records or the radio nearly all the time.  My mom sang everywhere we went, which was often embarrassing for me.  She also danced almost everywhere.

    Throughout my life, I have suffered from ear infections.  As a child, I would have 2-3 ear infections each year.  This gradually became fewer, and, for about the last 20 years, I get an ear infection only once every 3-5 years.  I believe this has contributed to my sensitivity to sounds, although I'm sure there's an element of autism in there, too.  I am more likely to be bothered by loud noises that other people don't mind and there are some types of music that I can't listen to on a car radio without experiencing discomfort bordering on pain.  I love cities, but I have a hard time tolerating the noise levels, especially while walking on a busy city sidewalk.  The combination of the noises of trucks, cars, construction equipment, and people all mixing together makes me very uncomfortable. 

    There are other sounds, though, that make me feel very, very good.  Rain, when I'm hearing it through a window screen.  People whispering, when I hear it through a window screen.  A baseball game on the radio, at low volume.  A soda can when it's opened.  Shoes on certain floors and sidewalks (especially in movies).  And, of course, music.  Certain singers or specific vocal performances can send me into bliss. 

    Rhett Miller's voice affects me almost every time I hear it.  I'm particularly moved by his voice on "Jagged."  I have no idea why.  I get a thrill every time I hear it.  I love the songs of the Old 97s and of Rhett Miller.  But even when Rhett sings other people's songs, I'm affected by his voice.  Once, when I saw him performing solo in Madison, he did "Can't Help Falling In Love."  It was gorgeous.  I love his voice.  I'd marry it.  I love Colin Blunstone's voice, too.  It sends me every time.  I'm especially fond of "Care of Cell 44" and "This Will Be Our Year."  Beautiful.  Roddy Woomble's voice on "Every Line of a Long Moment" is beautiful.  I don't normally feel anything when listening to him sing, but on that song, I do.  The song, itself, is lovely, but it's his voice on it that I love.  And Jeff Buckley's performance of "I Know It's Over" -- well, you just have to hear it.  It makes me feel very, very, very good.

    There are lots of songs that I find especially beautiful, too.  "You Keep Me Hangin' On," by The Supremes, especially the line, "Why don't you be a man about it," and the notes that Diana Ross hits on the word, "man," are great.  How did they do that, anyway?  They must have recorded 2 tracks of her singing the whole thing.  It's a great sound.  I'm always really touched by many Steely Dan songs, like "Doctor Wu" and "Dirty Work."  I'm a sucker for a wistful song, so it's no surprise that I like Steely Dan.

    Here is an utterly incomplete list of other songs I find particularly beautiful:
    "The Long Way Round," by Badly Drawn Boy
    "Since K Got Over Me," by The Clientele
    "Baltimore," by Randy Newman
    "Unsatisfied," by The Replacements
    "Mistaken For Strangers," by The National
    "Romeo & Juliet," by Dire Straits
    "Un bel di vedremo," from Madame Butterfly
    "Mr. November," by The National (although I have reservations about the chorus)
    "I Believe She's Lying," by Rhett Miller
    "Why I Love Country Music," by Lloyd Cole & The Commotions
    "Walk Away Renee," by The Left Banke
    "Baby You're Blind," by God Help The Girl (although I'd love to hear Stuart Murdoch sing it!)
    "The Loneliness Of A Middle Distance Runner," "Like Dylan in the Movies," and "The Model," by Belle & Sebastian

    What sounds/songs/voices do you find beautiful?

    Wednesday, January 18, 2012

    The Life of the American Mind

    When I think about our intellectual history, I am horribly distressed by the lack of female representation. Granted, it's really only been since sometime in the 20th century that girls and young women have been educated equally with boys and young men, and I know that it takes time to overcome barriers, even after they have been knocked down in legal terms. But reading a book like The Metaphysical Club by Louis Menand really drives home how completely women have been marginalized in academia. In 568 pages of American intellectual history from the Civil War on, all of the players are men.


    Nearly all of these men were university professors. They were also other things, such as authors, scientists, lawyers, and judges. But, almost all of them were professors. This is important because our institutions of higher education are designed to allow the faculty to theorize, experiment, and take intellectual risks. Tenure and academic freedom are the protections that allow the American mind to continue to develop and grow. So, for women to become better represented in the life of the American mind, they need to be better represented among the faculties of our universities.

    Now I know that women are not the only people who've been marginalized in our society and I'm well aware that other groups of people have suffered much worse fates. But what makes this so disturbing to me is how few people I talk to are bothered by it. Many people truly seem to think that it's no big deal and often say things like, "But that's not an issue anymore.  Women have equal opportunities now."

    Yes, women have many more opportunities now than ever in our history. There are women in nearly every career and overt discrimination against women is illegal. But there is still what we could call "inadvertent discrimination." The American Association of University Professors published a report in 2006 on gender equity that showed that, in the 2005-06 academic year, women were 39% of full-time faculty at post-secondary institutions. At institutions that award doctoral degrees (doctoral universities), women were 34.1% of full-time faculty and 46.5% of part-time faculty. In institutions that award only associate degrees, women were 50.8% of full-time faculty and 51% of part-time faculty. These statistics are interesting because 47% of full-time faculty jobs in higher education are at doctoral universities.  


    Now compare those statistics to the fact that 53% of those American citizens who were awarded doctoral degrees in 2004 were women. Women earn most of the graduate degrees that are awarded nationwide, yet they are not equally represented among the faculty of these institutions. Why?


    In another study called, "Demographic Inertia Revisited: An Immodest Proposal to Achieve Equitable Gender Representation among Faculty in Higher Education," which looked at data from one institution through 1999, the authors found that, barring any changes in hiring practices, it would take 40 years for women to make up 34% of the full-time faculty and 57 years for women to make up 50% of the full-time faculty.


    Is this acceptable? 

    Friday, January 6, 2012

    Fear and Hatred

    A few years ago, I read a book called In the Devil’s Snare by Mary Beth Norton.  It’s about the Salem witch panic of 1692 and the author argues that the trials, convictions, and executions of accused witches had more to do with local and regional politics than with anything else.  Over the years, many people have developed theories as to why so many people in the Salem area were accused of witchcraft.  Given that all but one of the accusers were female, and the extremely restricted roles women could play in Salem society at the time, many have speculated that this was an attempt on the part of these women to take some control and get some attention.  Mary Beth Norton does not disagree with that, but she then wonders why the local leaders were so quick to act on the accusations, when the testimony of women was usually given very little weight, and why they reacted so strongly.  Why, for example, did they stick to the belief that a young servant-woman had been tormented by a witch, even after her own employer (a man) testified that she was lying?  Why weren’t they suspicious when, during the interrogation of an accused witch who was vehemently denying the accusations against her, the accuser suddenly became unable to speak?  Her answer is that the leaders had experienced so many military and political failures in the years shortly before 1692 that they saw the witchcraft accusations as an opportunity to appear powerful and successful and to assuage their guilt. 

    My interest in this book, however, wasn’t in the big argument that Norton makes; rather, I was taken by the details of the story.  Relations with the Wabanakis, the local native people, were strained because of the First and Second Indian Wars.  There were periodic truces, sometimes initiated by the Wabanakis because they had become dependent on trading with the settlers for cloth, liquor, and corn.  During the hostilities, however, the atrocities committed by the Wabanakis had never been seen before by the settlers.  Entire settlements were wiped out during the wars and non-military families were butchered in their homes.   The survivors were shocked and what they experienced fed the region’s growing hatred of the Indians.  The hatred, obviously, ran both ways and the Wabanakis continued to be angered by the unfair trading practices of the settlers.  Everyone was affected by the wars.  These experiences helped to create the panic that allowed something like the witch trials to occur.  I would describe it as a kind of regional madness in which most of the settlers appeared to be incapable of rational thought.

    It’s made me look for similar things that might be happening today.  Obviously, the circumstances today are dramatically different than in 1692, but could it still happen that an entire community (or even worse, a nation) loses the ability to examine, rationally, evidence that contradicts its preconceptions, particularly in a situation with high stakes?   It has happened in modern times in isolated incidents.  The FBI report of the early 1990s about ritual/satanic child abuse allegations and the lack of evidence to support the claims shows that it is still possible for communities to allow their collective fears to overcome the ability to think rationally, especially when religion is involved.  Does this describe, in any way, what's happening now between the Republicans and the Democrats?  Between the Occupy Wall Street groups and CEOs?  Between Republicans and everyone else?